The secret to happiness "Principles of happiness" get rid of negative emotions

The secret to happiness "Principles of happiness" get rid of negative emotions 

There was a young man who wanted to know the meaning of happiness, so he asked a lot of people, and one told him that there is an old wise man in the far north, and only he can tell you the meaning of happiness.

He says to himself: "Finally, I will know the meaning of happiness." And when he reached the house of that wise man, he knocked on the door, and an elderly lady opened the door for him and welcomed him, then guided him to the guest room, and hour after hour passed and the young man sat in this room without the wise man coming to him, so he felt The young man is very angry.

Finally, after three hours, the wise man appeared with a simple appearance and very modest clothes. Then he sat reverently next to the young man and asked him calmly and quietly: "Do you want to drink coffee?"And the young man had become very angry and said to himself: What is this old man who left me for three hours on my own without informing me of any acceptable excuse or excuse and simply and calmly offers me to drink coffee !While the young man was thinking about this with great anger, the wise man interrupted him and repeated his question: "Do you want to drink coffee?!" The young man replied angrily, "Yes."So he asked him for coffee, and when the coffee came he asked him calmly: "Shall I pour you coffee?" The young man replied, "Yes."He poured coffee for him in his cup until the cup was filled to the end, and the coffee began to pour out of the cup, and the wise man still continued to pour coffee, and the coffee drifted on the table and on the floor and the wise man was still pouring the coffee, and suddenly the young man stood up and shouted: “Don't you see that The cup is full and you flooded the room?"

the wise man replied with a calm smile: "I am glad that you finally noticed this." The wise man then stood up and said to him: "The interview is over."And here the young man shouted, saying: "What! You have traveled all this far and made me wait for you three hours and flooded the room with coffee, and then you tell me now that the interview is over! Are you kidding me?!"The wise man replied: "Listen, son ... when your cup becomes empty, come and meet me again."The young man asked him: "What do you mean?!"And when he led him to the door, he said to him: "In order to be happy, you know to control your feelings and esteem, and always make sure that your cup is not full, and this, my son, is the key to happiness"

Feelings change a lot like the fluctuations of the weather and the speed of lightning and vary like the colors of the rainbow:

One day you wake up and humble happy and dress up in your clothes, and when you drive to work and someone blocks your way with his car, do not care, as if nothing has happened and when you arrive at your work, you greet all your colleagues with happiness and wish everyone a happy day, but you do not know why this beautiful situation is you pass by and what is her secret.

And the next day you wake up late because you forgot to set the alarm, and you find that you are late for your work, so you run quickly, as if there is a fire and if someone intercepts you in his car, you find yourself preventing him from passing and entering into a frenzy of stubbornness and not knowing why this is the case and you arrive at work late and angry and when Someone says to you: "Good morning." You answer him in anger: "Leave me alone, what good is this!"In fact, your cup is empty, then during the day it is filled, then it becomes empty again and then is filled again and so on throughout the day.This is how the feelings fluctuate like the atmosphere.

 Are you one of the people who allow events around them to affect them?

Imagine that you are in a lecture on leadership, for example, and the lecturer asked everyone who knows a leadership style, so you said that you had recently attended a conference in Canada on the psychology about leadership and knew a leadership style. The lecturer said that this is nonsense.How would you feel? You will feel offended, but did the lecturer really insult you, or were you the one who felt it? Did the lecturer instruct you to feel this, or is this your decision?If you return to your office with these negative feelings, how will you deal? Would you prefer to be solo for a while?You got it, all this happened because of a very small sentence that affected your feelings and feelings, and this means that leadership is not a loss of style, but rather an integrated way of life that begins with self-mastery and control over emotions and of course your state of mind.Example: When your manager says hello to you in the morning and wishes you a happy day, does this affect you? What if the opposite happens and he does not pay you any attention? I can assure you that this will greatly affect you in the rest of your day.Another example: If you invited people to dinner and made a reservation in a restaurant and everything was in order, but when you arrived at the restaurant, you discovered that the reservation was canceled. Will this affect how you feel? Then the manager of the restaurant managed to arrange a place for you. How would you feel? But the waiter was rude to you. Will this affect your feelings? Then the waiter introduces you to your favorite dish, and then you discover that it tastes fishy. Will this affect your feelings? We deduce from these examples that any event that happens to us affects our feelings. You taste something that affects your feelings, then you smell something that affects your feelings, you see something that affects your feelings, and then you hear something that affects your feelings.

 Don't relate your happiness to your needs:

You may feel that it is easy for someone to tell you to feel happy because he is not in your position, or you may say if I buy a car I will feel happy, if I buy a new house I will feel happy, or if I lose a little weight I will feel happy, or if I have my own business, I will feel happy, or for example, a lady might say, if my husband quits snoring while he sleeps, I will feel happy. Here we see that you want a certain thing to happen to you so that you feel happy. In other words, you say that you will become miserable if what I want does not happen here. You are convinced that the acquisition of a certain thing is the reason for your feeling of satisfaction and happiness.

 Happiness is what leads to success and creativity, and not the other way around:

One of the thinkers said: "Changing Your Mind Just Because Of Change". Some people think that feeling happy is the result of success, but on the contrary, success is the result of happiness.

Are you one of those people who wait for something to happen to feel happy? Has it ever happened that you wanted something badly, and when you got it, you said to yourself, is it only this?!

Example 1: the famous singer, Elvis Presley, had everything any person wished to own in the world. He was handsome, famous, and rich, and yet he was not really happy.

Example 2: the singer Dalida wanted to become famous and traveled to France and achieved great success there, and despite that, she was not happy.Do you know where the two are now? They died and the two of them mysteriously passed away because they did not control their emotions and feelings and so they were not happy.

 Temporary delusional happiness:

Once upon a time we were all victims of distress and prisoners of negative emotions, as they come in the form of: sadness, fear, or pain. There are those who try to escape from their problems with drugs, alcohol, and smoking, binge eating, gambling, or even watching TV for long periods, but unfortunately these negative habits because more harm and rob a person of his ability to feel, as they give him a temporary escape, but their effect on the long run is really bad.

 How to free yourself from negative emotions?

Now is it not time to free ourselves from these negative emotions and negative habits? Isn't it time to remove these restrictions and not cry over the past? Isn't it time for us to control our emotions and not give anyone a chance to influence our feelings and feelings?

First: the two main reasons for controlling emotions:

The first reason: is love and desire.Associated with pleasure and pleasure drives a person to move towards his desires.The second reason: is fear and loss.It is linked to pain and pushes the person away from the source of pain.

Second: Sources of Emotions:

The sources of emotions differ from one person to the other and are determined by the way we think our interpretation of things, our perception, and our perception of situations.For example: If there is a person who has a binge, then smoking will be linked to the pleasure of consuming cigarettes and heading to smoking.And another will link the pain to a specific relationship, and then it will tend to end this relationship and move away from it.In either case, emotions are based on how the person sees the situation and the thoughts he puts into his mind. Your vision of any situation determines your quality of life.Abraham Lincoln said, "A person is happy with the degree of happiness he decides to be." If you connect your mind to happy thoughts, you will get happy feelings, and vice versa, it is all up to you because there is no person who can feel you inferior without your consent.

 You are the guardian of your emotions:

In fact, no person or any circumstance can force you to do anything without your consent. You are the captain of your ship and you are the guardian of your emotions. Emotions such as the elevator rise and fall, but you are in control. The way you view any situation is what causes you either Happiness or unhappiness.One of the thinkers said: "One day you feel extravagant, another day you feel constricted, between the two senses all the pleasure of heaven and all the misery of hell."

 How to get rid of negative emotions:

The next time you feel a negative emotion, ask yourself. Is this emotion good or bad? Can you help me progress and achieve my goals? And if the answer is no, you should use the so-called "Law of Three":

1-    Notice it. 2- Cancel it. 3- Replace it.

You have to ask yourself the appropriate questions to note, then cancel and replace them.As Einstein said: "If I was about to be killed and I had one hour to live my life, I would devote the first fifty-five minutes to searching for the right question. Once I found the right question, finding the answer would only take five minutes."When you feel that you are angry you should ask yourself why am I angry? Once you know the reason, ask yourself again what do you want to feel? How can I change my feeling? Then move in the direction of the feelings that make you feel happy.

 Happiness principles:

The first principle: inner psychological calm

When your inner being is at peace and linked to your true self and away from the negative ego and its restrictions, when you let the power of love fill your heart and soul, then only your inner being will make you resist strongly any influences and events from the outside world and you will sleep deeply regardless of any events you passed Out on this day.

The second principle: healthy health and energy:

We always put health and energy at the end of our concerns. There are many of us who smoke, eat crazy or drink coffee in an exaggerated manner, and they rarely exercise, but as soon as a calamity occurs in their lives, they realize how important health and energy are, the way you are accustomed to eating or You exercise with it that affects your health and your energy level. When you are in excellent health and have high energy, you will be more excited and you will feel your being and you will be happier.

The third principle: love and relationships:

When your relationships with others are good, and when you are in a loving relationship with someone, you really feel that he cares about you and makes you feel his constant need for you, you will be happier.Fourth Principle: Self-realization:When you have a valuable goal and you are passionate about it, you will find that you are working to achieve it and you will be full of enthusiasm and your feeling towards yourself and towards people will be positive. You will achieve your goals and you will have confidence when you draw new ambitions and goals and you will feel that you have a clear influence in life and it will be happier.These four principles are the sources of happiness and positive emotions, and therefore weakness in any area of ​​them will thus lead to the feeling of pain and negative emotions.

 How to convert negative feelings into positive ones at once:

The first rule: body movements:

The way you move your mind or body affects your feelings.For example: apply these steps with me:Relax your shoulders, bring your head down, and breathe slowly. Think about something that really upsets you, and repeat this sentence "I'm happy."Did this method work? No, off courseTry the opposite now, raise your shoulders up and your head up, and join the palm of your hands like boxers, then repeat "I am weak"Did this method work? of course notEither way, the movements of your body do not reflect the thoughts you send into your mind. You should notice that you are the cause of this feeling and not the result of it, and that your psychological state is only a reflection of your body's movements.

The second rule: facial expressions:

Do you know how many muscles in a person’s face there are eighty muscles, each muscle connected to a specific part of the mind, so if you are happy you will smile, if you are cheerful you will laugh and if you are angry you will be resentful, and this is why facial expressions can change your feelings.Example: Put a smile on your face how do you feel now?Then draw a sad face? What do you feel now?Then draw an angry look on your face, what do you feel now?Another example: Draw a smile on your face and then try to show your anger at the same time. Were you able to do this? Try again, smile and get angry at the same time. Of course you will not.When you try to smile and get angry at the same time, the matter gets mixed up on your subconscious mind. It cannot do two different things at the same time, but it is possible to replace an action or idea with another. The next time you face a problem or situation that anger you, draw a smile on your face, I know that this will be difficult, but try to represent it until you get used to it.

The third rule: internal representation:

When you do anything you use your five senses, the way you taste, smell, see, hear or feel anything affects your feelings, as well as the way you live any experience that has a special composition. If you change the shape of this combination, you can change the whole experience.When you feel upset, you use your five senses in a certain way, and when you feel happy, you have a completely different combination.  Example Remember a situation that happened to you in the past and notice what you think first thing when you remember this situation? Is it an image, a sound, or a feeling?1) Notice what happened to your mind the first thing and then what was the second thing in your mind?2) Notice what you say to yourself, such as I am tired. You should notice where this feeling is found in your body, exactly is it in your stomach, feet, or head?3) Now we have a complete formula for how you feel upset represented inside you, but this combination varies from person to person.For example, there are people who start with the sound, then the feeling, then the image, and this is a different combination, or perhaps the feeling comes first, then the image, then the sound.4) Now notice where this image is focused. Is it in front of you, right, or left? Imagine that this image is drifting away from you and continuing to distance from you more and more. What do you feel now?5) Now replace this voice with the phrase "I am strong" and then take a deep breath and then let this air out with all the pressures and negative emotions.6) Now replace the picture and imagine yourself in it while you feel comfortable and happy, and repeat "I am strong" and breathe deeply and draw a smile on your face. How do you feel now? The bottom line is that when you change your body movements, facial expressions, and inner perceptions, you can change your feelings immediately.

 Now I will tell you the secret of happiness:

First: Without a negative feeling that affects you now, then cut this paper to the ground and throw it away.

Second: Without a positive feeling you would like to feel it, and then imagine yourself with your new feeling

Third: Close your eyes and notice1) What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think about this feeling? Is it something you see, hear, or feel?2) Notice what is the second thing?3) Notice what is the third thing?Fourth: Replace the image and enlarge it and imagine yourself inside it. Now replace the sound, make it louder and stronger, and then change your body movements. Raise your head up and relax your shoulders and breathe strongly and repeat five times "I am strong" and draw a smile on your face. Now how do you feel?

 How do we control our fears and get rid of Pathological fear to feel happy?

Pathological fear is an irrational fear, and the belief that it is true for the person with it does not mean that it is true for all people.

For example, do you think that all people are afraid of airplanes? What about high places, animals, insects, and closed places?Do you think all people feel this fear? No, off course.But this person with this phobia is for him really a result of an event in the past and based on it you are now with your experiences and your experiences and your age you do not see this fear, but you as a person in the past afflicted with this fear and continued to accompany you over the years of your life. Do you not think that it is time to get rid of this fear and enjoy your life without any restrictions?You must always remember that if you change the composition of any fears you are experiencing and replace their meanings, then you can overcome them and get rid of them.At the end , Kindly leave me a positive comments and subscribe to make me feel happy like you and share the article with your friends for a positive better life .Positive Articles for better life (PBL)